It seems like just yesterday I was haphazardly packing all of my belongings and stuffing them into my midsize (and never big enough) car in the pouring rain in preparation for my journey home to Indy for the summer. I remember it clearly - the air was chilled, the rain was coming down hard, and the residence hall of Schmidt/Wilson, which had been home to many just days prior, was now desolate, empty, and forlorn - almost as though it had never been inhabited by hundreds of students at all and had never been buzzing with business, conversation, and laughter. And now, here I sit, with exactly a week left of my summer at home, and I can't quite remember when June and July exactly took place, since they flew by so quickly.
When packing my car on that night in May, I didn't know quite what to expect of this summer. Looking back at it now though, I feel quite satisfied. I do wish I had done more productive matters, especially those related to Psychology and Grad School. But I figure, summer was only 2 months and I have the entire year to focus completely on everything coming my way. And when I say everything coming my way, I moreso mean a massive tidal wave of decisions, choices, and pathways. Graduation, the GRE, choosing for and applying to Grad Schools - all of these are mountains to be climbed and honestly make me quite nauseated when thought about - but they'll all be dealt with at their own time and for now, I'll continue watching Kim Kardashian freak out about Psoriasis.
Anyway - back to this summer. I feel quite thankful for this summer because going into it I wasn't sure if it'd be what I hoped it would be, but it was. I got to work my summer job at Phantom Fireworks with several best friends. I got to see my love more times than I thought I would. I caught up with tons of people and also connected with new ones as well. I got to spend time with family, which is always precious. One of the biggest highlights of my summer was definitely my trip to New York with my dad and brother. Ever since forever, I've dreamed of NYC. I honestly wouldn't have wanted to go to New York for the first time any other way either, because now I can always look back at that special memory and know that my dad brought me there. I'm so thankful for everything from that week, and I hope he understands just how much I loved it. I do plan to return, because I want not a week in the city, but months and years. Someday... :)
For now though, I'll be Muncie bound in just a week. Which once again and so very redundantly, I cannot believe since summer went so fast. I am beyond excited to return to Muncie though, which is something I slightly dreaded this time last year.
This year will be a challenge in many, many ways. For the first time ever, I'll be living in my first apartment ever that I've paid for myself. I'll have to adjust to off-campus living and everything it entails. Lucky for me, I have 4 lovely roommates to experience these trials and tribulations with, and I expect that we'll have some bad days, but hopefully we'll all grow and learn more about the world and each other than ever before, and have countless amazing days as well. Each of these women are amazing in their own way, and I feel so lucky to be living with them.
I also have some anxiety about my inner self. You know, the voice within? The conscience? Id, ego, superego? Well, whatever you like the call that - it brings me a wee bit of anxiety. I say this because I definitely can admit to myself that I'm going to have TONS of distractions this year. To contrast this to my previous years in college, I'll expand a little on why I think I'll be distracted. I'm not counting freshman year though, because in all honesty, it wasn't real life. (Which is probably why it was so ridiculously amazing). But anyway, Sophomore & Junior Year, I had RA'ing to keep me "grounded" so to speak. No need to list everything that kept me grounded, but the job itself kept me grounded due to expectations, obligations, and oh - you know, a curfew. Wellllll, this year.. that is all out the window! The Psychology major in me is screaming, "you're going to be like a dog off a leash! a kid in a candy store! you're going to lose your head!" (you get the idea). I know none of this is true, but I know some of it could be true if I allow it to be so. I know myself well enough though, to know that I won't completely lose myself. But I also know myself well enough to know that I'm definitely going to be faced with many choices and distractions and I have to remember to keep my focus.
I'm not going to awkwardly end this blog in an abrupt manner because I need to remove this makeup from my face. I think this might be the 4th time I've worn make up all summer.
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